Animal Chronicles -pt 1

For those of you who don't already know, I seem to often get attacked or threatened by random animals. I don't really know why but it just kinda happens. It all started about three years ago. I don't know why and I don't know how....all I know is that it's always completely random.

So I was on my way home from church tonight, and I realized that the porch light probably wouldn't be on because I hadn't been home all day and neither had Min V. (my landlord). Pulling up to the driveway, I turned my bright lights on to make sure that there were no nocturnal animals lurking in the grass (I'll have to do a blog on why this was the first thought that came to my mind--->other random animal encounters). I felt at peace when I saw that the coast was clear.

So I walk up to the front door with key in hand, and it takes me like 3 minutes just to open the thing (of course). Suddenly.......






I got in. Ha ha. (Suspenseful, huh?) Lol. So I make it safely into the house put my stuff in my room, then low and behold I realize I left my Butterfinger Sonic Blast in the car. "Aww man," I mutter and snap my fingers. So, I make my way back outside. As I walk out to the porch, closing the door behind me, this huge bat looking thing head towards my head. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream, as I run to my car.

So why didn't I run back into the house, you ask? Two reasons:

1. I was afraid the the bat looking thing might make its way into my humble abode, and
2. I wasn't going to dare let my Butterfinger Sonic Blast go to waste.

So I run to my car, grab my Butterfinger Sonic Blast along with a tennis ball I found in the car, hoping to somehow protect myself if the bat looking thing was still at the porch. Low and behold ...there it was, chilling on a brick directly left to the front door.

"How do I get into the house without getting mauled by this psycho bat looking thing?" I ask myself. Oh handy dandy little tennis ball.

Boom!

Strike 1.

"A little higher." Boom!

Strike 2.

"Higher".








Splat.

"Just Right!"




Just kidding. I didn't annihilate the little bat looking thing, but I did hit close enough to scare it away and run into the house holding my prized Butterfinger Sonic Blast as a shield over my head. I wont be going back outside tonight.

Oh the life of the King's Princess.

E. Ray's Blogger

Welcome to E.Ray's Blogger!

I've always been a talker, but recently I felt the need to start writing more. Thus the blog....

I can't promise you any details of what these blogs will contain...but I can promise that they will be of the utmost randomosity (if that's even a word). Shall I begin?!?!? I believe I shall.

Just to give you a little background of myself...I am a PK. What's a PK? Well I'm glad you asked. It's a Preacher's Kid. I am one of 8 Preacher's Kids to be exact. For those of you who have never been a PK, I would like to give you the 4-1-1 on what it's like (What exactly does 4-1-1 mean anyway. Idea for another random blog maybe).

I will educate you on the life of a PK by listing the Pros and Cons...

Cons of being a PK:

• You're at church all day long, from an hour before service starts to up to five hours after it ends.


• The enemy seems to attack you and yours more than any other random kid.


• You live the life of a politician's child--everybody watches everything you do.


• You're not allowed to date until you're a senior in high school, so you rebel and do it anyway.
  

• All the other PKs know you're not innocent even though adults think you are.

• You have a way of finding out all the church drama, even when you don't want to hear it.
  

Pros of being a PK

• You learn to fall asleep no matter where you are or how loud it is. Because PKs tend to stay at church all day long, we learn to adapt. I have fallen asleep outside of an airport, sitting on top of my suitcase, while it was raining.
  

• You learn how to pray at a very early age.


• All the adults think you're innocent.
  

• You can say the books of the Bible faster than any other random church kid.
  

• Though you may not want to hear it, you hear the Word 24-7...at church, at home, in the car, when your getting a whipping, when you're eating, when you're sleeping.
  

• You despise being a PK while you're young, but you thank God for when you grow up and realize how blessed you really were.
  

Despite all the cons, I really do thank God that I was a PK. More than that, I thank God that I was birthed into a family of truly God-fearing and God-honoring parents who taught me from a young age how to live for God. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to know God (not just about him) and to have parents who birthed me out naturally, and started the spiritual birthing process!


This is all I have for now. Fellow PKs feel free to add to this list.